sorrowful_me on Xanga

All that you see here is nothing but sorrow.

sorrowful_me
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: sorrowful Location: California, United States Gender: Female Expertise: having a split personality Occupation: Artist Message: message me Member Since: 6/1/2003

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Monday, August 28, 2006

friend

That wonderful yet dreaded word by the name of friend
I love yet hate that word at the same time.
You meet someone who you find attractive
You get lucky and get their myspace
And hey you may even get luckier if you get their number
You have endless conversations
You don’t even know where time went when talking with that person
With each conversation you get closer and closer
You’ve hung out and talked so much
You swear you’ve become a psychic when it comes to him
You’ve grown such a bond that you might even think of taking another step
After such a long time of being together and thinking
You finally bring up the courage to confess your feelings
You both call each other saying that you have news
You both argue about who goes first
you know the usual you go first, no you go first, no you go first
You win making him go first
He breathes in and tells you
“I’ve found the girl of my dreams today and she's been right in front me!”
You’re shocked by the statement
He describes her vividly and surprisingly enough it sounds a lot like you
Your heart starts beating faster and faster with each trait he describes
“This girl is amazing every time I talk to her I don’t know what to do”
Your heart is beating so fast it’s almost unhealthy
Then he says “I even wrote her a love letter, could you listen and tell me what you think?
You gladly say yes.
He then reads, “Dear Ann,”
Just hearing the first two words make your heart drop.
Breathing starts to become difficult.
You’re in a state of shock realizing that he didn’t read your name.
What’s even more shocking is that the person’s name he read
Happens to be your best friend’s
He goes “well what about you?”
You don’t know how to put in words and don’t even know if you could say
How your best friend just broke your heart
Even though it kills you
You help him as much as you can
Wanting him to be happy even though it’s not with you
Guess what? You’ve succeeded and they're happy
He talks about her to you and asks for advice
You willingly give it
Willingly taking blows to your own heart
Then comes a day when they break up
He comes moping to you
Saying to the world, “why can’t I ever win?!
You know what? You’re such a great friend you're always there for me. I wished I'd have a girl just like you”
Just like me? It’s always just like me.
But it never is me
But hey, who can blame them? I’m just the friend.

9:53 PM - 12 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

My everything

When I first met you

You came along with my crush at the time

You did all the wrong things

Gave me the worst possible first impression

From all of that I would have never guessed

That you would become my muse

That you would become my idol

That you would become my air

That you would become my everything

You were the first one to ever capture my heart

You were the first one to ever make my dreams come true

Then you broke my heart 3 times

Making me die 3 times

And yet you brought me back to life every time you spoke

Just hearing your voice made my heart swoon

Your voice was what made my heart beat

You’re my everything

Then you killed me again

I went into a depression

Having your heart ripped out does that to you

Then you killed me again

But this time you didn’t even bring me back to life

You just straight up KILLED ME

By getting killed yourself

The shock devastated me so

My entire being wouldn’t allow me to believe it

Even staring at your obituary didn’t qualify as reality

But this time I wasn’t dreaming

You actually left this world

Taking everything precious to me with you

I went into an even deeper depression

Reminiscing about when you were here

Grabbing hold of each memory like a precious lifeline

Not entirely living

Just a host going through the motions

In a sea of people feeling alone

There were attempts

There were the few who came close to reviving me

But still, I stayed a lifeless host

Days pass, weeks pass, months pass, and eventually years pass

Still going through the motions

But something’s different

I’ve smiled

Is this me breathing?

But how can this be?

You’re my muse

You’re my idol

You’re my air

You’re my everything

But how can I actually be breathing without you?

How can I be living without you?

Or were you really my everything?

2:47 PM - 5 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

To remind myself that all of this is not a dream

Danny Vang

July 15, 1988 Dec. 16, 2004 FAIRFIELD < A funeral for Danny Vang, 16, is planned for noon Wednesday at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2700 Camrose Ave., Fairfield, with president Robert Troub officiating. Mr. Vang died Thursday, Dec. 16, 2004, in an auto accident. Mr. Vang was a native of Fairfield. He was a junior at Fairfield High School, attended church seminary and was a chorister and organist for his church. He takes with him a smile that made this world a better place. He is survived by his parents, Kou and Sa Vang of Fairfield; brothers, Kevin, Steve, Sonny and Brian Vang of Fairfield; and numerous aunts, uncles, grandpas, great-grandpas and friends. Friends may call at the church from 10 a.m. until the time of the service Wednesday. Burial will be in Rockville Cemetery. Arrangements by Bryan-Braker Funeral Home. Published in the Daily Republic from 12/20/2004 - 12/21/2004.
Flowers • Gift Shop • Charities

10:15 PM - 7 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Thursday, June 23, 2005

well it has been a while since i last updated this thingy. Quite a few things has happened. Well i dyed, my hair if that counts as anything. School</b> has finally ended and i just hit the age of sweet sixteen. I don't know if i should call it sweet sixteen but sixteen to say the least. Well i finally moved on but got rejected. . . oh well! it's all good! Even though we liked each other at a certain point in time it's cool how we can still talk with out that akward feeling. Um i still feel like i failed in the making new friends department. BUT! i can say i've made new aquaintances! wooO! My grades are still slipping but hey the year has ended and at leasti made it! I can no longer say that i'm content with life but at least i can say i'm trying my best to make the best out of it and not be depressed.

4:57 PM - 2 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Sunday, January 02, 2005

. . . One of my best friends died . . . I only found out a few days ago. He wasn't just a best friend to me. Of all the people. . . it had to be him. Everyone survived but him. . . But what am i gonna do? I can't go back in time and change it. Dwelling on this wouldn't be the best either. It's just that it feels so surreal. It doesn't feel like it even happened at all. I keep trying to wake up and i keep on failing.

8:59 PM - 3 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

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